Great Dunkers vs. Diminutive Dribblers

The crowd was on the edge of their seats as the Diminutive Dribblers and the Great Dunkers took the court. The Great Danes towered over the Chihuahuas, and the odds were in their favor. But the Chihuahuas had a secret weapon: their ferocious bark.

The game started to shift early. As the Danes’ star player, Bowwow Ming, went in for an early first-quarter dunk, one of the Chihuahuas let out a shrill, ear-piercing bark, and the ball bounced off the rim. The Diminutive Dribblers seized the opportunity and drove down the court for an easy layup.

The Danes tried to shake off the Chihuahuas' barking, but things only seemed to get worse. Every time they tried to make a move, the Chihuahuas barked so loudly that the Great Danes were practically shaking on their paws.

And just like that, it was over. Fans had never seen anything like it. A team of tiny Chihuahuas had taken on a team of towering Great Danes — and won. The Great Dunkers couldn’t help but be impressed. It turns out that there’s nothing more formidable than a little dog with a big bark.

Golden Gamers vs. Dashing Doodles

The crowd was on the edge of their seats as the Golden Gamers and the Dashing Doodles took to the court. The Golden Retrievers were the heavy favorites, having won the ManyPets Madness tournament every year since 1997, when Disney’s Air Bud inspired generations of Goldens to become unbeatable ballers.

The Labradoodles were quick and agile, and they were putting up a good fight as the game got underway. But the Gamers had a size advantage — and a stunning ability to catch the ball in mid-air with their mouths.

These Goldens never seemed to miss an opportunity for a rebound, steal, or interception. (Yet with their soft mouths, they somehow never seemed to damage the ball!) The Doodles had heard all the stories, of course, but it was another thing to see these Goldens in action. It was obvious why they hadn’t lost a match in nearly 150 dog years — their athleticism and teamwork were simply unmatched

As the Doodles trotted off the court, tails wagging and tongues hanging out, they knew they’d put up a good fight. As for the Goldens, they were focused on the next round. After all, they were the champions of ManyPets Madness — and they intended to keep it that way.

Drivin’ Doges vs. Full-Court Frenchies

The arena was buzzing with excitement as the Shiba Inus, dubbed the Drivin’ Doges, faced off against their French Bulldog opponents, the Full-Court Frenchies. The Shibas were overwhelming favorites. They were leaner, quicker, and a little taller. Plus, their recent investment in Dogecoin had been a dogsend, allowing them to pour millions into recruitment efforts and practice facilities. Finally, they’d shed their reputation for being unapproachable and difficult to train.

But as it turned out, the Frenchies had assets that can’t be measured: Heart — and some very pointy ears.

At first, the Shibas dominated. The Frenchies huffed and puffed, just trying to keep up. Then suddenly, one of them perked up his ears and seemed to know exactly where the ball was going.

The crowd was confused at first, but soon realized that the Frenchies were using their amazing hearing to anticipate the Shibas' moves on the court. The Frenchies were making plays that seemed impossible, stealing the ball from the Shibas and making shots that defied belief. It was as if their bat-like ears had granted them the powers of precognition.

In the end, the Frenchies emerged victorious in front of a stunned crowd, celebrating their victory with barks, nuzzles, and slobbery kisses. As they left the court, stubby tails held high and ears perked up, they knew they had just made ManyPets Madness history.

Chicago Bulldogs vs. the Crosstown Crossbreeds

The stage was set for a clash of old rivals as the Windy City’s very own American Bulldog squad, the Chicago Bulldogs, prepared to face off against their hometown Cockapoo rivals, the Crosstown Crossbreeds. The Bulldogs had a dismal record against the Cockapoos, who were simply faster and more athletic.

But anything could happen on the court.

At first, the Cockapoos ran circles around their opponents, bouncing and jumping and wagging their tails, while the Bulldogs lumbered around like a bunch of sleepyheads. But suddenly the Cockapoos began to slow down, their tongues lolling out of their mouths, and their eyes glazing over. It was like they’d been hit with some kind of canine kryptonite.

They knew the problem. Their hypoallergenic fur had grown too long, and now they were weighed down and exhausted. For weeks they’d been trying to tell their coach, Red Auerbeagle, that they needed a trip to the groomer, but he’d been too fixated on barking orders and relentlessly running drills on his famed Triangle Pawfense.

The Bulldogs seized the opportunity, using their big, muscular bodies to push past their worn-out rivals and win a low-scoring game. The crowd was stunned. The Cockapoos had been defeated by their own fur.

But hey, at least they didn’t trigger any allergies.

Layup Labs vs. the Leapin’ Lions

With Round 1 of the ManyPets Madness tournament well underway, the top-seeded Layup Labs took to the court against the Leapin’ Lions, the bottom-seeded Shih Tzu squad. The Labrador Retrievers, with their sleek and muscular build, felt certain they’d dominate their miniscule opponents. But the Shih Tzus were determined to give it their all, hoping that their hard, determined game-faces would show through their adorable, well-groomed fur.

The Labs were immediately taken aback by the Shih Tzu’s intensity and ferocious yipping. To make matters worse, the Labs started squandering their superlative rebounding abilities by immediately bringing the ball straight into the audience and looking for a human to play with. As out-of-bounds whistle after out-of-bounds whistle blew, the determined Shih Tzus won possession after possession, and the crowd’s laughter grew.

But just when it looked like the Shih Tzus were going to take the lead, Layup Labs star Lab-ron Jowls pulled off a stunning interception. King Jowls then sealed the deal with a game-winning layup. In the end, the Labs’ size and speed advantages just barely won out.

Though the Labs were victorious, the game had been much closer than anyone expected. As for the Shih Tzus, they may have lost, but they proved that even small dogs can have big hearts

Border Ballers vs. the Whooshing Weenies

With their sharp minds and even sharper reflexes, the Border Collie squad, dubbed the Border Ballers, were some of the top dogs in the tournament. But their Dachshund opponents, the Whooshing Weenies, had a trick up their tiny sleeves.

When the game started, the Ballers caught a whiff of something... woolly. It turned out that the Dachshunds had invited all their fluffy sheep friends to sit in the front row.

The Border Collies' herding instincts suddenly kicked in: They forgot all about chasing the ball and began chasing the sheep, who had simply been grazing on popcorn and minding their own business. With the court wide open, the Dachshunds scored shot after shot. (Their coach, Steve Furr, was sure to implement frequent substitutions, as back injuries had been a big problem for the squad in the past.)

The sheep were enjoying the game despite everything. Truth be told, they kind of liked being herded. They cheered their pals with gusto: "Go Weenies! Score another baaaaasket!"

It was a lopsided victory for the Weenies. The outraged Border Collies filed a complaint with the league, claiming the Dachshunds had cheated by bringing in outside distractions. "What do you mean, cheated?" the Dachshunds said. "We just gave you what you wanted! You love herding sheep, don't you?"

The Border Ballers had to admit that they couldn't argue with that logic. And one thing was certain: No one would use the word “weenie” as an insult ever again.

Racin’ Rotties vs. the Peppy Paps

The Racin' Rotties were a fierce-looking bunch of canines. With their large bodies and muscular builds, these Rottweilers looked intimidating. But when they faced off against their Papillon opponents, the Peppy Paps, something surprising happened.

Instead of snarling and barking like the tough customers they were supposed to be, the Rotties were... nice. Every time they made an impressive play, they would give their opponents a friendly pat on the back and say something supportive like, "Great effort, guys!" or "You're doing awesome out there!"

Some initially wondered whether the Rotties were being sarcastic, but it soon became clear that they were 100% sincere. The adorable Peppy Paps were stunned. With their tiny builds and flowing coats, they’d expected to be pummeled by the Rottweilers, both athletically and emotionally.

After the match, the Peppy Paps couldn't stop raving about the Rottweilers' kindness. "They were just so... nice!" they exclaimed. "We thought they were going to be these big, scary dogs, but they were total sweethearts!"

Star player John Rot-ton, sensing an opportunity to change his breed’s reputation forever, stepped up to an interviewer’s microphone and gave an impassioned speech: "Listen up, world," he said, his eyes burning with passion. Rotties are dogs with hearts, dogs with kindness, and dogs who believe in the power of encouragement. NOW YOU KNOW!"

The Shootin’ Sheps vs. the Powerhouse Pugs

The Shootin' Sheps were a formidable team of German Shepherds. They were fast, strong, and had a natural talent for basketball. So when they faced off against the Powerhouse Pugs, a last-seeded team, nobody expected it to be a fair fight.

But as the Sheps were about to make their first big drive down the court, they noticed the Pugs' big, sad-looking eyes. The Pugs’ faces dropped. A few of them fell over on their sides. The Sheps were concerned — had they hurt their opponents? Were they okay? They dropped the ball and ran over to check on the Pugs.

But as they approached, the Pugs suddenly perked up. Their tails started wagging and they began jumping up and down and barking with excitement. Confused, the Sheps looked behind them, only to see the Pugs had taken the ball and were racing towards the basket.

It was a brilliant strategy — and the pugs kept doing it over and over, much to everyone's amazement. In the end, the game wasn't even close. Coach Gregg Pupovich was beaming with pride: "I always knew those sad eyes could be a powerful weapon," he told the cameras, rubbing his paws together in satisfaction.

The Powerhouse Pugs had proven that even the underdogs can have their day in the sun — as long as they had a little bit of creativity and some very large, sad-looking eyes.

Diminutive Dribblers vs the Golden Gamers

It was round 2 of the ManyPets Madness tournament. The Chihuahua team, AKA the Diminutive Dribblers, was set to square off against the Golden Gamers, the Golden Retriever squad. The Chihuahuas were confident, but the Goldens remained heavy favorites to win the whole tournament.

In their first-round win, the Chihuahuas used their piercing barks to rattle their opponents. Now they were ready to add a new weapon to their repertoire: ferocious shaking.

When the game started, the Chihuahuas barked and shook so forcefully that the fans in the audience had to cover their ears and eyes. The Golden Retrievers tried to stay focused, but the Chihuahuas' antics were distracting them. The Goldens were bigger, stronger, and faster, but the game was still tied at the end of regulation.

Then came the decisive moment: with seconds remaining in overtime and the Goldens down by one point, the Chihuahuas shook so hard that the gym floor partially collapsed beneath them, and they literally sank into the court. Before they could climb out, the Goldens had ended the game with an easy slam dunk.

The Chihuahuas had lost the game, but they had won the fans’ hearts and minds with their never-give-up attitude and absurdly effective barking and shaking. Who knows, maybe next year they’ll have another trick up their sleeves — snarling and baring their teeth, perhaps?

Full-Court Frenchies vs Chicago Bulldogs

The crowd was buzzing as the first all-Bulldog match in ManyPets Madness history was set to begin. The American Bulldog team, a.k.a. the Chicago Bulldogs, was feeling the pressure as they faced off against the French Bulldog squad, the Full-court Frenchies, in round two.

The Frenchies had won their first-round matchup thanks to their pointy ears and powerful hearing, but the American Bulldogs decided to turn that strength into a weakness. Enter Michael Jordoggo and Scottie Puppen, the Chicago Bulldogs’ two greatest players.

These two living legends were famed for their powerful, baritone barks and electrifying growls. As soon as the game started, they shook the very stadium with their thunderous woofs, running all over the court to make sure the noise was coming from multiple directions at once. Just like that, the American Bulldogs overwhelmed and confused the Frenchies’ powerful sense of hearing.

The Frenchies still gave it their all. In fact, both teams of flat-faced breeds huffed and puffed and staggered all over the court. By the fourth quarter, the game had become decidedly unathletic, and the audience had to stifle laughter. Ultimately, the American Bulldog’s superior size and strength made the difference in a double-digit win.

While The Frenchies had lost, they had won the admiration of fans everywhere thanks to their determination and utterly fabulous ears.

Layup Labs vs Whooshing Weenies

The Whooshing Weenies team was feeling confident. The spunky Dachshunds had pulled off a miraculous upset in Round 1, distracting their Border Collie opponents by planting sheep in the audience. Now, knowing that Labs were originally bred to retrieve game, the Dachshunds invited all their pheasant friends to sit in the front row, certain the Labs wouldn’t be able to resist.

But the Layup Labs were clever: They emerged onto the court wearing blinders. The Dachshunds’ grins instantly drooped into frowns. “What are you, horses?” one of the Dachshunds croaked feebly. But they knew they were in trouble.

The Labs were ultra-focused; they never even saw the birds as the game began. And to make matters worse for the Dachshunds, the Labs had invited all their badger friends to sit in the front row!

Dachshunds were originally bred to chase Badgers, of course, and soon enough the Weenies had all but left the court. Every time a Dachshund dove after a badger, the badger would bore a hole through the floor and escape. It was a sorry scene, and the game was a lopsided affair.

As the top-seeded Labs advanced to the Furbulous Four, the Dachshunds were disappointed but ultimately satisfied: they’d done better in the tournament than anyone expected. And, for the first time in tournament history, none of them had suffered a back injury.

Racin' Rotties vs Powerhouse Pugs

The Racin' Rotties were feeling terrific after their win in the first round of the ManyPets Madness tournament. They’d proven that Rottweilers could be both strong and nice, and they were determined to keep that momentum going in round two. But things didn't exactly go as planned.

The Rotties were facing off against the Powerhouse Pugs, and they quickly realized that they were just way better at basketball than their opponents. The Pugs were huffing and puffing and trying to keep up, and the Rotties felt bad for them. So they decided to lend a helping paw.

At first, the Rotties shouted encouragement at the Pugs. "You got this, little guys!" they barked. "Don't give up!" But soon enough, they started giving them pointers and advice. "Try passing the ball more!" one Rottie shouted. "And don't forget to box out on defense!"

Before long, the Rotties were actually shooting the ball for the Pugs — and into their own baskets. The Pugs couldn't believe their luck — they were actually ahead on points! And before they knew it, the game was over and the Pugs had won.

The crowd was baffled.

After the game, the Rotties were feeling pretty sheepish. "I mean... we're all for dispelling hurtful stereotypes and everything," star player John Rot-ton said in a postgame interview. "But we didn't really mean to take it that far. Whoops."

Golden Gamers vs Chicago Bulldogs

The Golden Gamers took to the paint in yet another Furious Four appearance. Their opponents were the Chicago Bulldogs, a lumbering American Bulldog squad that had made a Cinderella run deep into the tournament.

These well-trained Golden Retrievers believed their superior fitness would make all the difference, but the dynamic Bulldog duo of Michael Jordoggo and Scottie Puppen were nothing to fetch a stick at. Despite their slow pace and tendency to gasp for breath, these two ballers were flawless defenders and knew how to sink shots from far beyond the three-point line.

But in the end, the Goldens did indeed remind spectators why they’d won this tournament so often. Sometimes, having five stars is better than having two superstars. The Goldens were able to get past the Bulldogs’ three lesser defenders throughout the game and notched a high-single-digit win.

The Bulldogs had put up a valiant effort, but their postgame interview put a damper on things. Jordoggo blamed his "pup-porting cast" for their lackluster efforts. This did not sit well with Scottie Puppen, who suspected Jordoggo was simply trying to save face so he could continue marketing his pricey brand of dog collars.

Their relationship was never the same afterwards. It was like watching two dogs fight over a chew toy, except this chew toy was the MVP trophy, and neither of them got to bite it.

Powerhouse Pugs vs Layup Labs

The ManyPets Madness tournament was nearing its climax. The Labs were into the ManyPets Finals yet again, and the stage seemed set for an all-Retriever championship match. First, the Layup Labs just needed to dispatch the lowly Powerhouse Pugs.

But the crowd was clearly pulling for the underdogs. Fans held up signs bearing hand-drawn pug faces, with supportive slogans like “Who’s a good widdle boy???”, “We Wuv You Vewy Much!!!”, and, in one odd case, “PUGALICIOUS!!!!” in all caps.

Suddenly, the Pugs hit the paint with a height advantage absolutely no one had seen coming.

The adorable little guys were stacked on top of each other like a group of Cirque du Soleil performers, all wearing a single jersey. “I thought the Great Danes were already out of the tournament,” the announcer joked.

The Labs were stunned. After all, a Golden Retriever can be up to 26 inches tall — but 5 Pugs together can be 80 inches tall! The Labs simply couldn’t contend with this intimidating pile of flat-faced fur-friends, who had suddenly achieved a 3-1 height advantage. The Pugs kept dunking the ball with ease, leaving the Labs scratching their heads with disbelief (but thankfully not fleas).

The Pugs proved unstoppable, punching their ticket to the finals. Now, could this ragtag bunch of brachycephalics finally pull off what no team had done in 150 dog years — defeat the Golden Gamers? They were about to find out.

Powerhouse Pugs vs Golden Gamers

The Powerhouse Pugs seemed outmatched in the ManyPets Madness finals: the last time the mighty Golden Gamers had lost the tournament, President Bark Fetchton was still in the Dog House. And as the game got underway, the Golden Retrievers seemed predictably unstoppable.

But when the Pugs re-emerged after halftime, down by double digits and panting heavily, everything changed. The petite puppers trotted in a single-file line, a furry costume draped over all of them.

A convincing costume.

The lustrous golden fur, the yellow “K9” stamped across the back of that iconic blue jersey... The Dog. The Myth. The Legend.

The Goldens howled in unison: “AIIIR BUDDDDD!!!!!!!!!” He had finally ventured off the Disney lot in Burbank, where he’d been enjoying his retirement since those brief forays into football, baseball, and volleyball.

The Goldens rushed their idol with pens, notebooks, and phones gripped firmly in their soft mouths, desperately seeking autographs and selfies. The Pugs started racking up points as their opponents lost all interest in the game.

The buzzer sounded.

The Powerhouse Pugs had done the unthinkable, earning their place in ManyPets Madness history. And even in defeat, the Goldens were characteristically cheerful. "We have to hand it to the Pugs," said star player Goldy Bryant. "They really fooled us when it mattered most, and we got to meet our hero, kind of!”

The Powerhouse Pugs had truly earned their name. But will they be able to defend their crown in 2024? Find out next year!