Can your pet judge your date?

Dating can be lots of things - sometimes it’s exciting, sometimes it’s tough, and a lot of the time, we’re a bit lost.

Are they the right match for us? Was that date fun, or am I just lying to myself? Do I want to see them again? Occasionally, we just need some outside perspective, and who better than the one who knows us best: our tailmate.

Sometimes, our pets are excellent judges of character, but can they actually judge your date? Is there any truth to the idea that cats and dogs can sense “bad people”?

Here, we discuss the science behind how pets “sense” people, signs they aren’t a fan of your date, and why it may just be your pet reflecting your vibe rather than your date’s.

High-quality pet insurance

We're there for every wag and whisker.

Easy claims, high-quality cover and a team that truly loves pets. It's why we're Pet Insurance Provider of the Year (Moneyfacts 2025).

Protect your pet

The science behind how pets “sense” people

Micro-expressions

Pets are masters at noticing body language, so they can pick up small things we miss, like micro-expressions and changes in posture.

Hormone detection: adrenaline, cortisol and oxytocin

Oxytocin, cortisol and adrenaline are hormones that pets, especially dogs, are very attuned to, and they can all spike during a date. While there’s no evidence they can actually smell these hormones, dogs can sniff out the chemical and behavioural changes that occur in our body in response to them, like sweat.

Oxytocin is sometimes referred to as the “cuddle hormone”, which triggers when we’re relaxed and bonding with someone. Pets can pick up on this, so when we’re having a nice, relaxed time with someone, this signals to our pets that we’re all “safe”.

Conversely, adrenaline has the opposite effect. When this spikes, we’re typically stressed and have a lot of cortisol in our bodies, too. When a pet detects these, it can put them on edge, leading to negative reactions to your date.

Now, this isn’t a personal judgement of your date by your pet. After all, they might just be feeling nervous.

So, if your date’s system is running high in adrenaline and cortisol, a dog’s instincts start shouting “threat!”, while oxytocin signals “chill out”.

VOCs (Volatile Organic Compounds)

Smells are a major part of a pet’s world, especially dogs, so it isn’t always the case of them catching a “vibe” - often, they’re following their nose, and a negative reaction may be due to the presence of Volatile Organic Compounds (VOCs).

These can happen from small changes, like a date wearing a certain perfume or having a particular type of fabric softener, so sometimes, your pet is simply sensing a change in smells, not necessarily sensing anything about your date and their personality.

Signs your tailmate isn’t a fan of your new boo

Usually, your pet will display negative body language. This is a little different between cats and dogs.

If your cat’s not a fan, they’ll typically:

• Act aggressively or tense, like looking stiff or swatting their paws.

• Hide for a long period of time.

• Show defensive body language, like flattened ears, rapidly swishing tails, and an arched back.

• Start hissing, especially when your date tries to interact with them.

• Suddenly start having bathroom issues, like not using the litter box.

And if your dog is giving you the “are you sure?” energy, they’ll:

• Act very possessive and jealous, putting themselves between you and your date.

• Ignore your date over a long period of time (though some dogs, like us, are just shy and take a while to open up).

• Show defensive body language, like a “barrier” stance, flattened ears, a tucked tail, and excessive panting.

• Showcase stress, like shaking, excessive grooming, and, in some cases, mild stomach upsets.

• Start being avoidant, leaving the room, or hiding for a long time.

• In some cases, their behaviour may escalate to growling, raising body hair, or baring their teeth - especially if earlier signals have been ignored

Dog sense vs. cat wisdom: how they read your date

We’ve talked about pets generally in this article, but cats and dogs may assess people differently. This is due to the ways they socialise, as well as their general approach to life.

Whether canine or feline, it's also worth noting that your pet’s personality will play a big part in how well they respond to your date. For example, a friendly and open pet versus one that is shy and anxious.

How cats read people

• High observance: Cats pick up on subtle cues, like emotional changes, and make deep, quick judgments based on those.

• Scent-based judgments: Cats actually can’t visually recognise their pet parents or people that well, so they primarily make assessments through scent. Like dogs, the pheromones and scents they pick up are important when making judgments.

How dogs sense people

• Body language: Dogs excel at understanding body language in humans.

• More facial recognition and vocal tones: Dogs are much better at reading faces and vocal tones, so they often use expressions to help form judgments.

• Words: Dogs are more attentive to verbal cues - they understand more of what we’re saying.

Key differences

• Hierarchy vs. independence: Dogs are pack animals and see humans as their leader, while cats see us as more equal (if we’re lucky).

• Reaction vs. strategy: Dogs are more eager to please and direct, while cats are more independent and strategic.

• Response to cues: Dogs respond more to cues, like pointing, while cats aren’t as interested - they take more time to focus on the person.

• Different survival strategies have led to key differences in how both animals come to conclusions. Our canine friends prefer cooperation and social cues, while felines thrive with more detached, independent observation.

The Mirror Effect: why your pet isn’t always judging your date (they’re actually reading you)

There is another explanation for your pet’s cold shoulder towards your date: they’re just copying you!

Pets have something called the “Mirror Effect” where they’ll mimic the behaviour, emotions, and stress levels of their pet parents. This means, if you aren’t feeling good about your date, your pet won’t, either. There are multiple layers to this:

• Emotional mirroring: Pets monitor your emotions, and they, especially dogs, can fall into your moods rather quickly.

• Mimicking behaviours: Pets learn to mimic the behaviour and habits of us, too, so if we’re naturally shy or introverted, your pet may be displaying this to your date.

• Physical mirroring: Your pet is a master at picking up subtle body language cues, so while you may unconsciously be displaying negative micro-expressions, your pet picks them up.

Studies have shown that dogs can mirror the stress levels of their pet parents, so it makes sense that if you aren’t having the best time, your pet won’t, either.

Can pet ownership become a dealbreaker?

It depends. For us, we wouldn’t imagine being with someone who wasn’t as pet-obsessed as we are; we’re pet parents, after all, and our tailmates are a part of our family.

But really, if you’re fond of your partner, it’s likely they and your tailmate just need a bit of time. Unless there are deeper issues at play, like incompatibility or allergies (which may be possible to manage), it might just be a case of them getting used to each other.

Once your pet starts building up some positive experiences and interactions with your date (treats and toys help!) they’ll usually come around.

And, who knows, with time, your tailmate may prefer them over you!

Just kidding: we know that’s an impossibility.

Get behaviour cover up to £20,000 as part of your overall vet fee limit on Complete Care

Start my quote

FAQs about pets and dating

Can cats and dogs sense "bad people"?

Can cats and dogs really sense “bad people”? Well, not really - as we’ve mentioned above, they can’t detect things on a moral level, but instead pick up on subtle hints like body language and smells to detect feelings like anxiety and stress.

My dog loves everyone except the person I’m dating. Is this a red flag?

We wouldn’t read too much into it, especially if you and your close ones get along with the person you’re dating. It’s more likely something has rubbed your tailmate the wrong way, like a specific event, and they’ll both just need some time.

Can dogs sense if someone is a 'narcissist' or a 'bad person'?

So, can dogs act as a biological lie detector? Well, no - they lack any deeper insights into morals and psychology compared to us. But they can detect something called incongruence, which is when someone is acting in a way that’s opposite of how they’re feeling.

For example, if someone is acting nice, calm, and friendly, but they’re exhibiting signs of psychological stress (like cortisol), a dog can pick up on this contradiction.

My cat hides every time my partner comes over. Should I be worried?

Some people just aren’t cat people, are they? And yes: we don’t trust them either...

Jokes aside, a cat hiding from someone doesn’t always mean they dislike them specifically. Sometimes, a date is louder than you, which triggers a cat’s anxiety. At other times, a cat can act territorial while they get used to a new person in their home.

Is it normal for a dog to be 'jealous' of a new date?

Dogs can get jealous (we’ve covered this in detail before), but it's more likely they’re acting protective and resource guarding instead. We’re sure that with a bit of time and positive reinforcement, things will get better.