Do cats get lonely? Signs your tailmate is feeling alone (and how to fix it)

We’re sorry to say, but yes, cats can get lonely, and it’s a natural consequence of them being complex creatures capable of positive and negative emotions. They’re certainly more independent tailmates than dogs, but it doesn’t mean they don’t like or want strong social bonds with us. Cats can be difficult to read, so figuring out if your cat is truly lonely can be tricky.

According to Katenna Jones, an Associated Certified Applied Animal Behaviourist, Certified Cat Behaviour Consultant, and owner of Jones Animal Behavior, some cats can be very social and get lonely easily, while others may be more solitary and prefer to be alone. (Actually, this is also true of dogs and humans too, for that matter.)

A cat’s tolerance for solitude “can depend on early ‘kittenhood’ experiences and exposures, as well as experiences (good or bad) throughout life,” Jones says.

Here, we discuss the signs your cat is lonely, whether they need a sibling and how to help your tailmate if they feel alone.

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Key signs your cat is lonely

Signs of a lonely cat can vary. They include:

• Aggression

• Changes in grooming behaviour

• Changes in usual activity, such as pacing more than often, or excessive sleeping

• Destructive tendencies such as scratching furniture or knocking objects over

• Excessive vocalisations

• Extreme attention-seeking or clingy behaviour, like following, rubbing against, and soliciting any sort of contact from their humans. However, some cats may actually be more withdrawn than usual.

• Inappropriate toileting outside of the litter box

Keep in mind that cats are masters at hiding how they really feel – a defence mechanism to avoid looking vulnerable to predators. This means that sometimes cats will only display the signs of loneliness when you’re not there.

“A webcam can tell you if your cat is pacing, howling, or otherwise seems upset when you are gone,” says Dr. Mikel Maria Delgado postdoctoral fellow at the School of Veterinary Medicine at the University of California.

“More severe cases of separation anxiety can include excessive self-grooming, hiding, or changes in appetite – and any of these signs call for a check by your veterinarian.”

It’s worth bearing in mind that many symptoms of loneliness in cats overlap with other health conditions. This is why a vet appointment should be your first step if your cat is behaving unusually.

Can you tell if your tailmate is lonely based on their greeting?

Not necessarily. But an overly excited, exuberant greeting can be a sign of anxiety and relief, not just happiness.

It’s worth checking for other signs of loneliness first, and getting them checked by a vet if you're worried there may be a medical reason for their behaviour.

Can cats be left home alone?

It depends on their age. Here's how long cats can be left alone (roughly) by age and health:

We've covered more on this in our article on how long kittens and cats can be left alone. We don't recommend leaving kittens alone, and the guide we linked sketches out rough guidelines as your cat ages if you need it.

In general, most healthy adult cats can be left alone for up to eight hours, provided they have toileting access and freely available drinking water – so a working day. Ones with a more independent nature may be fine left for 24 hours, as long as they have access to plenty of space, fresh water, a clean litter tray and food that’s automatically dispensed at regular intervals.

However, longer stretches or regular overnight absences may be more disruptive to your cat’s wellbeing.

A look online shows that different pet parents have different limits for their pets. For some, it’s 36 hours, while others have admitted to leaving them alone for 48 hours. But this is not without risk. If no one checks in on your cat during this time then accidents or illness could be missed. There may even be an automatic feeder malfunction!

Of course, a cat’s personality and independence are important factors here, but for most healthy, independent cats, we wouldn’t recommend leaving them alone for more than eight hours.

A trusted cat-sitter is the best bet if you’re leaving your cat alone.

Steps to help your cat feel less lonely

If you're leaving your cat alone for short periods of time, there are some things you can do to help them stay mentally and physically stimulated. These include:

• Leave a worn article of clothing, like one of your worn t-shirts, on your cat's bed to provide a comforting scent.

• Leave the radio or TV on for background noise or choose "Cat TV"

• Leave things like scratching posts for enrichment and stimulation.

• Maintain safe access to windows so your cat can stare and watch the world go by (but of course, ensure these are secure and that your cat isn’t stressed by what they might see, for example next door’s dog or fireworks).

• Maximise small space with tall cat trees or window perches for mental stimulation and safety

• Pheromone diffusers

• Provide puzzle feeders and interactive toys

• Rotate their toy collection so that they have access to new, interesting playthings

Do cats get lonely without another cat?

It depends. Cats have a reputation for being loners, but they don’t always have to be. In fact, there are many benefits to giving your kitty a buddy to play and interact with. But usually, adopting two or more cats at the same time is the easiest way to make sure they all get along.

So what if you already have a cat, and you want to add another cat to the home? That’s where things can get complicated.

"It’s a misconception that cats are low maintenance pets", says Dr. Delgado. Often they actually benefit greatly from stable, routine interactions.

Adding a feline playmate might help stave off loneliness, especially if your routine or schedule suddenly changes and you can’t provide as much attention to your cat as you had in the past.

On the other hand, introducing your cat to a new friend isn’t always the best course of action — and even when it is, it can be all too easy to go about it the wrong way.

So, does my cat need a friend?

Alas, a new cat is not a fix-all solution for a lonely cat. And in some cases it might actually make things worse.

Adding a new cat to the household can be challenging, especially since your cat will have no say over their new roommate. “If your cat is generally pretty easygoing and has lived successfully with other cats before, they may be fine,” explains Delgado. “But if you adopt another cat and the two don't get along, you may end up with two lonely cats instead of one.”

So how can you decide if getting a second cat is a good idea? Jones says it depends one hundred percent on the resident cat's personality.

The older your cat is, and the fewer cat friends they’ve had throughout their life, the less likely they are to want a new companion. “There can be exceptions to this, but statistically speaking, this holds true,” Jones says.

But if your cat isn’t a good candidate for a new friend, there are things you can do to alleviate their loneliness. Since cats usually dislike surprises, Delgado says you can help your single cat feel more secure and less bored by having a consistent routine for feeding, play, and attention. Providing your cat with plenty of positive interactions when you are home is important to their mental wellbeing.

Getting a second cat: other things to keep in mind

If you want to add another cat, Jones points out that a kitten is rarely the answer unless the resident cat is very, very patient.

“I would recommend looking at adults who are known to enjoy and form relationships easily with other cats,” says Jones. “You want cats who are savvy at understanding other cats, respectful of distance, and not easily annoyed.”

A great option is to look at rescues that have multiple cats and are open to fostering or a tryout period. “Take the new cat home knowing there's a good chance it won't work out, do a slow intro, and know when to stop and try again with another cat,” says Jones.

Cats who have a good history with other cats and a personality similar to your cat at home will have a better chance to make it work, so don’t be afraid to ask questions.

To make the transition easier and to avoid conflict, Delgado suggests providing the new addition with their own room or sanctuary at first while you work on introducing the two cats.

“Multiple cats also need multiple resources, so you'll need plenty of vertical space, litter boxes, food dishes and more,” says Delgado. “So make sure you have the time, space, and patience to do things right; that will increase the chance of your cats getting along.”

Four steps to introduce your cat to another cat

We have covered this in-depth in another article on how to introduce cats to each other. For some general advice, we recommend these four steps to introduce cats to each other.

The four-step cat introduction process

1. Scent Swapping (Familiarisation)

• Goal: Allow cats to learn about each other safely through smell, making them feel comfortable.

• How: Rub one cat with a clean cloth, then immediately use the same cloth to rub the other cat. You can also swap bedding or bowls.

• Tip: Be patient; this is the most crucial step and may take time.

2. Controlled Visual Introduction

• Goal: Allow the cats to see each other without physical contact.

• How: Use a secure barrier like a baby gate or a glass door.

• Monitor: If they react positively (curiosity, no hissing), proceed. If negative, return to more intensive scent swapping.

3. Short, Supervised Interactions

• Goal: The first face-to-face meeting.

• How: Keep the first interaction very short and controlled. Provide plenty of space for each cat to retreat.

• Safety: Be prepared to separate them quickly if any aggressive behaviour occurs.

4. Full Integration and Cohabitation

• Goal: Living together peacefully.

• How: Allow free interaction. Encourage positive behaviour (e.g., sharing space, playing) with positive reinforcement (treats, praise).

• General Rule: Monitor their signals, provide adequate resources (litter boxes, feeding stations, beds etc - for each of these items there should be at least one per cat, plus an extra), and never force interactions.

Remember: use our complete guide on how to introduce cats to each other for in-depth guidance on tailmate introductions.

Should you get a second cat, and is there any reason to worry as a one-cat family?

Should you get a second cat, and is there any reason to worry as a one-cat family?

It’s not uncommon for pet parents to say things like “I feel bad being a one-cat household”, or to query whether it’s “fine for a cat to be an only child”. We get it: these are our tailmates, and we want to make sure they’re having a rich, fulfilling life.

Now, it may seem easy to think that getting your cat a partner is an easy way to make them feel less lonely, and, in many cases, they’ll appreciate someone else to spend time, gossip and play with. But as you know, all cats are different, so a lot depends on your tailmate’s personality.

To answer: you shouldn’t feel pressured to have another cat if you’re a one-cat household. Cats can be perfectly happy as an only child. But if you think your cat would benefit from having a sibling and you feel confident parenting another tailmate, then you should consider it.

A few things to think about before getting a second (or third or fourth) cat are:

Introductions are very important

First impressions between cats are essential, so make sure you've prepared for your introduction properly. Our guide on cat introductions helps with this.

Personality is everything

Consider your cat's personality before getting an additional cat. If they don't seem the type to want other cats around, then don't force it.

If you're getting a new cat, consider how their personality will meld with your cat's. For example, a low-energy, relaxed cat may not appreciate a kitten that's high-energy and very extroverted.

Take things slowly

There's no rush. Take things slowly, and let your cats get used to each other at their own pace. If your cats aren't ready, then don't force them.

What to do if things aren’t going to plan

Sometimes, even if we do everything right, introductions don't go as planned and cats can clash. Signs things aren't going quite right include aggressive behaviour like hissing, resource guarding, tense body postures and other visible signs of stress.

If introductions and co-habitation between your cats isn't working well, then see your vet or a behaviourist. Sometimes, there's an underlying health reason for this, while at other times, a small adjustment in their lifestyle can make them content.

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